So This Just Happened

So yesterday I did something that I have never done before and a lot of people will think that I’m silly that I’m actually writing a post about this, but for me I had high anxiety from when I booked the appointment. People will be thinking what a dentist, doctor appointment.Something that could be scary. No No No I booked a hair cut.

Stupid I know, but all day yesterday I was on the brink of having a panic attack. Yes people say it’s only hair, it will grow back, but I have always loved my long hair and every time I cut it a little bit shorter I regret it and say I’m never cutting it again. But today it was time to cut it. Cut it short.

As I sat in the chair and she asked what I would like done I could feel the sweat dripping down my back from a slight panic “Cut it all off. Just do it.” I could see the excitement in her eyes. As she was cutting into my hair and I was trying to hold back the tears, she had a huge smile on her face (She can’t love her job this much on a Thursday night at 6)  I thought she is getting joy out of my pain. So I asked her. “Is it more fun to cut long hair really short?” and she smiled even more. “Hell yeah, it makes me want to cut mine.” I looked at her beautiful long blonde hair and thought hell no I wouldn’t cut that. And then she told me she had cut hers short a couple of times and then grows it back, which made me feel so much better.  I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt this way about getting a hair cut and yes I do feel a bit stupid about how it turns my stomach into butterflies and then a feeling of pure sickness, but I use to always think of my hair as my identity. And if its gone will I still be me?

BEFORE

AFTER

And the answer is yes. I’m still me but now me with healthy hair. HAHAHA. I like my new hair, I can’t say that its love just yet, but hopefully with time i’ll get use to it. I didn’t even tell anyone I was getting it cut short because until the first bit of hair was cut I thought I would chicken out or just go for the safe cut (bit past the shoulder length) But once she started cutting I relaxed and felt really proud that I had gone out of my comfort zone. Yes you only live once and quoted by Coco Chanel “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” I won’t go that fair but it least it won’t take as long to do in the mornings.

Love and hugs Kate and Frankieellen

One Little Word

Well I did say my next blog was going to be on friendships, well I changed my mind, because first of all I hand write all my blogs. Yep I’m old school like that. And as I read back over my words, it just wasn’t working for me. It wasn’t doing justice to all my wonderful friends. So I want to refine, rewrite and write more than one blog on this topic. I just want to show my friends how much I love them and the impact that they have on me and this blog. So hopefully I can get creative and make an awesome read for all. But until then-

I’m writing today about new years resolutions. Yes I know the first month of 2015 is gone. Gone in a flash I say, but this is a different concept on resolutions and thought it might be nice to share. Its a whole lot easier then having the same old goals every year that by February you have started chain smoking again, put back on the 5 kilos that you lost in the first 2 weeks or packed up your sewing machine because this year you were going to finish every single project that you had ever started. Does this sound like you? This is me every single year, sometimes I might get to the end of March. I must admit I did succeed with one of my resolutions last year. Do not read horoscopes. I know kinda dumb but if your anything like me I was addicted and whatever it would say I believed. “You will come in to money this week.” Hello where is my millions “If you’ve wanted to start a book, blog or other means of self-expression, Saturn in your communication zone makes it easier to create the structure and discipline to support your dreams. You’re definitely being stretched to speak your mind more than ever before.” Ok SHUT UP!!! I just read this, word for word. It’s so so true. hahaha this is why I had to stop reading them.

Well this year I have just chosen one little word. One little word is about pinpointing one guiding principle and then walking with that word throughout the year. Great idea Hey? I thought it was and unfortunately I can’t take credit for it. I read a blog about it and thought I’m so doing that. It didn’t take me very long to think of a word. WILLING! and this come about because I find that I never want to do much and spread my wings out of my comfort zone, but this word didn’t sit right with me. I found that I had to think about it to much. It’s said that the word should find you, but I knew I was searching for it. So I forgot about one little word until one day when this happened- So I usually have a plan for the day that goes something like feeding Frankie, watching her lay there for a bit, then sleep, while she slept I did the jobs for the day or sat on Facebook. She was so easy for the first 2 weeks coming home, but this day it changed and she wanted to challenge me. Instead of being this beautiful baby girl and only crying when she was hungry, she decided it would be awesome to cry and cry and cry for hours. I couldn’t get anything done and I kept thinking of all the things I need to do. I’m trying to calm her down and only getting more tense because I’m thinking I need to make the bed or wash the bottles or shower or start that craft project I saw on pinterest last night. STOP!!! I needed to stop thinking and to focus on the task at hand and getting your daughter asleep. BOOM my word “FOCUS”

A point upon which attention, activity etc, is directed on concentrated.

So I tend to think of to many things at once and half the time these things don’t even matter. The washing and dishes will still be there tomorrow if I don’t get them done today. I do shower everyday though. Frankie does sleep every now and then, for more than 5 minutes at a time. I couldn’t slow down and just focus on the task at hand. I was getting worried because my mind wouldn’t stop and I wasn’t soaking up in my beautiful daughters little life. I forgot to play with her, because I was to busy thinking of other things or scrolling through facebook. I was disgusted in myself for forgetting to even talk to her during the day. Yes she might be a baby and I think I thought she needs to eat, sleep and poo. That’s all. I was wrong. I just needed to stop and focus on her. Lay there with her, sing shake it off to her, show her things and just watch her be her. So the word focus started to work, not every single day but it definitely helped. I forgot about everything apart from the one thing I was doing at the time. This also works when it comes to writing this blog and working on my calisthenics routines or just trying to take a nap without thinking oh crap I haven’t put the washing on. I can wait till I wake up. I need this one little word to help my achieve my goals for the year. Yes I still have resolutions, but the word helps me in the moment.

TRY IT! pick one little word for yourself if you find you keep failing at your new years resolutions. Yes one month has already gone by, but there are still 11 months of the year to get through. I would love to know your words so leave a comment.

My word failed me slightly today my focus was meant to be on this blog, but Frankie decided she wanted to be a little turd and when she was being a smiley turd I also knew where my focus should be.

Till next time hugs and love Kate and Frankieellen

Here goes nothing!

Right to start off I just want to put it out there in advance to apologize for any errors on my blog including spelling mistakes, grammar etc. This blog is not how good my English is because I know how angry people can get if the grammar isn’t right. Guess what I don’t care. My English is bad and I’m quite aware of it. Also until I get use to how a blog works I may make mistakes, please forgive me because this is the most confusing thing I have attempted since year 12 maths and that was a long long long time ago, but I’m going to stick with it and accomplish big things. My blog is going to be about a range of different things and all in all I would just like it to be a good read for you. Hopefully make you smile and maybe help every now and then. Plus it makes me feel better getting all my jumbled thoughts out there.

Today I was inspired to write because of a beautiful photo of my daughter. It captures my week in her amazing facial features. Sorry for all the people out there that don’t have kids, but this is about the babies. So I will forgive you if you stop reading now, but you may get a laugh out of it or help you one day when you have a little turd of your own. Isn’t she just beautiful-

She did this a lot this week, you can tell by how red her eyes are. I never knew the power of a screaming baby until now. No matter what people told me before having her I never knew how bad some days can be. You think can’t be that bad. RIGHT?!?! WRONG! It’s lucky they are so damn cute, even when they are screaming the house down. So, yes I have had one of those weeks where no matter what I did little miss Frankie cried (screaming for better words) I honestly thought she hated me. 12 weeks old and she is already hating on me. I thought I had a few more years until that started happening. I hope there is other parents out there that relate to this feeling. Its horrible. All you can do is walk around the house crying at the same time as your precious bundle of turd, thinking surely she will go to sleep soon, she must be tired. 2 hours later and nothing much has changed but you have tried 20 different ways of getting them to sleep. bath, bottle, bum change, singing “shake is off” (she loves Taylor) walking laps of the house rocking back and forth. You cave and your walking around the house with them in the pram and finally silence. You leave them in the pram to sleep because there is no way your moving them from pram to cot. NO WAY!! I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this but before having Frankie I was like nah can’t be that bad and if you don’t have children I will forgive you for thinking exactly like me.

I stare at the photo while she is sleeping in her pram and the corners of my mouth curl upwards. Yep after 2 days (I know I said a week, but I look back and it was only about 2 days. Seriously it felt like forever.) I can still smile at this little turd, yes she is sleeping right now and its awesome, but because I know she is determined, strong and happy. She screams a lot yes but its shows me she is tough and strong and knows what she wants even if I don’t. This trait will pay off when she is older when she is striving to be the best that she can be and I know just by looking at her that she is going to do great things in this world. She has been a little fighter from the start and I’m so very proud of her.

“and though she be but little… she be FIERCE!”

It does also helps put the feelings aside that she already hates me is watching her this morning as we woke as a family in bed (another thing I was never going to do before having her but you will try anything for a good night sleep) the different faces she pulls as she awakes from slumber. She stretches her little body  grunts, moans and farts. Then turns her head to me “Good morning Frankie.” and she smiles right back to me and I know its going to be a good day.

Love and Hugs Kate and Frankieellen

xoxoxo

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WOW!! Finally I started a blog. Now what do I do.

So, I have been wanting to write a blog for some time now, but find it very confusing and always put it in the to hard basket. But since having my first child 3 months ago I have already learnt patience. Which I think you need when writing a blog and this year I decided that the time is NOW!! to do all the things I want to do. Focus on being happy and my best self and somehow I think a blog will help.

I’m not really sure what my blog is going to be about but hopefully I just learn along the way about what to write about. I guess I’m just an average person with a pretty standard life, but in that standard life I have had different experiences and would love to share them. Oh and there is nothing wrong with being average and standard. Honestly its the simple things in life that I get the most joy out of. Like this blog.

Ok, well I think for the first blog I might just tell you a little about myself. My name is Kate and I’m 30! My first child was born on my 30th birthday. (7 weeks early) she was here to party hahaha. I have been divorced and found love again. And have never had a purpose in life till now. Looking after Frankie. She is just the most beautiful turd I have ever met. Yep I call here a turd because she cries all the time, but she is my turd and I love her. I’m sure parents have called their children much worse at 3 in the morning when they haven’t stopped crying for 2 hours for no reason whatsoever. She fills my heart with so much love and my head with so much worry, but I try and enjoy every moment with this little person even the 3am screaming alarm.

Well on that the little turd is just about to wake up for some drink so before she starts working out those lungs I’m going to sign off and publish my first post. Please enjoy and will blog again soon.

Much love and Hugs Kate and Frankieellen